13 alternative things to do with the £429 you’re going to spend on an iPad

  1. Go on holiday somewhere you’ve never been before.
  2. Convert your lawn into a vegetable patch, buy a greenhouse and a chicken coop, dig a pond and acquire a couple of ducks.
  3. Throw a party for all your friends and family, complete with food, drinks and entertainment.
  4. Put it towards the helicopter lessons you’ve always wanted, which of course will be useful if you survive the impending apocalypse.
  5. Give to your favourite charity (subsequently saving a panda or something).
  6. Buy approximately 36 new CDs by bands you’ve never heard before, including some We Have Band, Surfer Blood and Attack in Black.
  7. Purchase some sexy new fonts in order to create something fantastic.
  8. Take your favourite person out to the best local Michelin Star restaurant for a nine course meal.
  9. Book a day in a recording studio to record a song or two.
  10. Charter a canal boat for a weekend and get your mates on the best canal-side pub crawl they’ll ever go on.
  11. Jump out of a plane from 15,000 feet (parachute advised).
  12. Invest in a(nother) new bicycle for your all-year-round fun and exercise.
  13. Purchase approximately 219.6 litres of white emulsion to paint a massive wall, and watch it dry.

Disclaimer: All of the above guaranteed to significantly enrich your life more than said device.